Linda Mae (translated into Portuguese means "beautiful mother")

My mother-in-law Linda is not doing well.  We took the girls out of school last Tuesday, so we could travel to Minnesota and spend time with her at the hospital.  We drove home Friday afternoon, while the rest of the family (Andrew's two older brothers, their wives, and his dad) took her home with hospice care in place.  The cancer has spread throughout her body, including infiltrating her skull and brain tissue. The previous Saturday, while at church, she had piercing pain in her head so her husband Steve drove her to the ER where they learned of the aggressive growth.  Thankfully, she has a large support system in place with her kids, siblings, in-laws, hospice, and an aunt of one of my sister-in-law's (who is a nurse) has flown in to stay with Linda and help manage her care for the foreseeable future.  It's torture for all to see Linda in so much pain and suffering.  As the poignant saying goes:

 

 
 

Here is the world. 

Beautiful and terrible things will happen.

Don't be afraid.

~Frederick Buechner

 

 

When you die, it does not mean that you lost to cancer.  You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and in the manner in which you live.  ~Stuart Scott

 

 We picked up some ingredients at our local farmer's market to try a new fermented pickle recipe my in-laws made the week before Linda went to the hospital.

Mayo & the State Fair

We have been to Mayo and back, and now we are home with our girls to enjoy the long Labor Day weekend.  Sam is putting in her last 7 hours at HyVee this morning which concludes her career in the grocery business, and Andrew and Makaela are picking up some paneer to make our favorite Indian dishes.

The visits went well.  First we dealt with my heart. My cholesterol continues to climb (469) and since I already have some disease in my carotid artery at "the young age of 39" (so sweet of them to say that) they absolutely want me on statins.  Andrew and I have decided to adjust our diet, lower our cholesterol intake (i.e. add lots of veggies and low-carb fruits) and then have my blood retested in a month to see if it has any impact on my cholesterol levels before adding the statins to my regimen.  It does not appear that the diet is helping slow tumor growth, but it may be aiding in seizure control, so we will just play around with it and see what works best.  When I was on a vegan diet, my cholesterol was half of what it is now (mid 200's which is still quite high, but better!!  ;-)

My brain appears less worrisome to the doctors than my high cholesterol--at least to the cardiologists! ;-)  The tumor is still on its steady, slow growth as it has been since we started monitoring it in 2009, but the fabulous news it that only the front part of the tumor appears to be growing, and apparently it's growing into a part of the brain that is not used-- just empty space.  So, what that means is that I will remain asymptomatic in terms of speech loss, coordination issues, etc...this is such a relief!  My neurologist agreed that it will not benefit me more to do a craniotomy/chemo/radiation now as opposed to later, but to be fair, she does make it clear that she would prefer I act sooner than later.  She understands that I lost quite a bit the first time around, and thus understands my hesitation to treat due to the very real risks of losing more quality of life. 

After my appointments we headed straight to St. Paul to attend the Minnesota State Fair. As a child, I attended the fair every year, sometimes multiple times thanks to my energetic, fair loving grandparents.  When Andrew and I lived downtown Minneapolis we attended the fair almost nightly.     This time, 15 years later, we fully embraced our new self-imposed freedom to consume some carbs and throughly enjoyed the world's best cheese curds and buttery corn on the cob, rode the skyride with our legs dangling in the open air, and relished in the "Minnesota-ness" of the place.  It was pure fun and deliciousness.  

Thanks for checking in!  Take care of you, and I hope all is well.  

xoxo ~ Autumn